CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of psychological intervention that targets our frame of thinking. Giving us a tool to correct our irrational (dysfunctional) thinking into more rational (healthy) thinking. Thus, allowing us an opportunity to correct a dysfunctional lifestyle.
The way it works its so simple, that its amazing. When an event happens, our first thought would be a rational thought. For example, "oh, I didn't do well in my test", "mum just scolded me", or "I just missed the bus." Usually, they would be thoughts that described an event that was just experienced. Following that, our second thoughts, in respective order, "I am going to fail my entire semester", "I am useless", or "why couldn't the driver had waited for me for just one minute more." These thoughts are what sets the stage for our action phase. In the examples given above, depression and anger sets in. This is where CBT seeks to work its wonderful magic here. It helps to change our irrational thoughts into more rational ones. My lecturer hit it home for me when she said one thing; "who died and made you King that the whole world has to serve your wants and needs ?"
I am not sure how many of you have similar experiences, but for me I can now see how I can get stressed, depressed, or all the gamut of what we termed as dysfunctional behaviors and emotions arise. Even though, we do not usually think about it, but we live under the assumption that the world around us, revolves around us, and all things must work the way we need it to be. When things do not work the way we like it to be, we react negatively, and act out accordingly.
Therefore, we need to understand that the world works the way it needs to work. We work the way we need to work. The people around us need to work the way they need to work. When we try to influence the way things work outside of ourselves, unexpected things can happen, and things may not work out the way we planned, expected, or hoped. When we interact with things outside of our sphere of direct influence, weird things can happen, good things can happen too, or nothing happens. We just have to understand and accept the consequences, then move on from there. Dwelling on the consequences will not help us progress, but learning how to accept it and move on will. No one died and made you King, so the world does not revolve around you.
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, November 5, 2009
About Gossip and Idle Talk
Ever since I was young, the bigger people around me are always saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." To an extent, it is true. Sticks and stones will inflict physical harm, but words will never inflict any physical harm. Whoever coined that phrase must have been a very smart person to use those words to console another who felt hurt by words from another.
I did say "hurt" by words didn't I? Yes they do hurt! I am sure most of us have heard of the saying that "the pen is mightier then the sword." Words do hurt, and they cut deeper then sticks and stones. The physical wounds that sticks and stones inflict, if they do not kill you, will heal over time albeit with some scarring. The severity of the scar, and the time taken for the physical wounds to heal will depend on how severe the physical damage was. Obviously, the more severe the damage the longer it will take to heal, and the deeper the scars will be.
However, the damage words inflict are emotional. They are hidden from plain sight, no one will know you are bleeding inside, figuratively speaking. None outside will know the severity of this bleeding with just a look. This bleeding could last for days, weeks, months, years, even decades. Yes, that is how severe this kind of injury can be. The emotional hurt inflicted by words can be immeasurable. Sometimes it can even be contagious and the people around the person hurt might also feel hurt, like a disease. This bleeding can sometimes manifest itself as depression, very commonly, and at other times manifests itself as other forms of mental disorders like personality disorders, abnormal behaviours, etc. The ironic thing about all this is that it can be started with just a single sentence, a small phrase, or a word. For example, a father telling a child that he/she is worthless, or a child calling another insecure kid that he/she is fat, etc. This does not only happens to children, it happens to adolescents and adults too. One need not look far to see examples of this.
Have a gentle survey of the office at which you work at, keep your keen ears out for idle talk and gossips going round. Or in a school environment in areas where people tend to gather, one is bound to catch wind of some "juicy" gossip or a little idle talk. Most people think that this kind of talk is harmless. In some cases it is, in others it is NOT. The scary part is, none knows when the talk is harmful or harmless.
When idle talk, or gossip, harms someone, the Universal Law of Cause and Effect goes into play. The creator of any harmful talk starts accruing karmic debt for all the harm the talk has harmed. Propagators of such talk also accrues karmic debt, and the original creator of the talk also accrues debt again for causing the propagators to accrue debt. As the talk starts to inflict hurt on the people around surrounding the subject of the talk, debt mounts on the propagators, and the creator yet again. As this carry on, it is not hard to see that the creator of such talk starts to accrue karmic debt many fold as the idle talk spreads. The bottom line is all this karmic debt will have to be repaid some day. And the only the owners of the debt can repay the debt, none will be able to help.
Let all be warned when you feel like talking about something related to someone, especially if you are not sure if it is true or not. Even if it was true, do you have any business discussing someone else's business with someone else, if it was not for the purpose of therapy?
I did say "hurt" by words didn't I? Yes they do hurt! I am sure most of us have heard of the saying that "the pen is mightier then the sword." Words do hurt, and they cut deeper then sticks and stones. The physical wounds that sticks and stones inflict, if they do not kill you, will heal over time albeit with some scarring. The severity of the scar, and the time taken for the physical wounds to heal will depend on how severe the physical damage was. Obviously, the more severe the damage the longer it will take to heal, and the deeper the scars will be.
However, the damage words inflict are emotional. They are hidden from plain sight, no one will know you are bleeding inside, figuratively speaking. None outside will know the severity of this bleeding with just a look. This bleeding could last for days, weeks, months, years, even decades. Yes, that is how severe this kind of injury can be. The emotional hurt inflicted by words can be immeasurable. Sometimes it can even be contagious and the people around the person hurt might also feel hurt, like a disease. This bleeding can sometimes manifest itself as depression, very commonly, and at other times manifests itself as other forms of mental disorders like personality disorders, abnormal behaviours, etc. The ironic thing about all this is that it can be started with just a single sentence, a small phrase, or a word. For example, a father telling a child that he/she is worthless, or a child calling another insecure kid that he/she is fat, etc. This does not only happens to children, it happens to adolescents and adults too. One need not look far to see examples of this.
Have a gentle survey of the office at which you work at, keep your keen ears out for idle talk and gossips going round. Or in a school environment in areas where people tend to gather, one is bound to catch wind of some "juicy" gossip or a little idle talk. Most people think that this kind of talk is harmless. In some cases it is, in others it is NOT. The scary part is, none knows when the talk is harmful or harmless.
When idle talk, or gossip, harms someone, the Universal Law of Cause and Effect goes into play. The creator of any harmful talk starts accruing karmic debt for all the harm the talk has harmed. Propagators of such talk also accrues karmic debt, and the original creator of the talk also accrues debt again for causing the propagators to accrue debt. As the talk starts to inflict hurt on the people around surrounding the subject of the talk, debt mounts on the propagators, and the creator yet again. As this carry on, it is not hard to see that the creator of such talk starts to accrue karmic debt many fold as the idle talk spreads. The bottom line is all this karmic debt will have to be repaid some day. And the only the owners of the debt can repay the debt, none will be able to help.
Let all be warned when you feel like talking about something related to someone, especially if you are not sure if it is true or not. Even if it was true, do you have any business discussing someone else's business with someone else, if it was not for the purpose of therapy?
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